“I WRITE BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO THINK UNTIL I READ WHAT I SAY.”
Flannery O’Connor
There’s no two ways about it – writing is good for us.
I’m not speaking now of the writing of a book or a blog or whatever writing project is calling to us, although for many reasons tending to this calling is good for our health and wellbeing.
I am speaking of journaling.
Journaling is the art of building a relationship with ourselves. Yes, plural, we are many selves.
We are different people depending upon where and with whom we find ourselves. Some selves we adore. Others we despise. Some we love and others despise. Some humans and situations bring us joy. Enliven us. Inspire and embolden us. Other humans and situations disempower us. Shrink us. Shame and disappear us.
This doesn’t mean things have to be this way.
An effective, accessible, cost-neutral tool is at our fingertips: pen and paper.
Journaling is the art of building a relationship with self. It’s a fancy way of saying that with a pen and a piece of paper, we can download the experiences that have us at their mercy – and then use these tools to begin navigating new ways of being with and among and people and situations.
You need another reason to start?
These experiences live in our body – in your blood and your bones and your flesh and your organs. And that’s not good for us. A quick experiment: close your eyes and think of something or someone you love. Now, eyes still closed, think of something or someone you loathe.
Pen and paper ready? How did each of those thoughts feel? Write. Download. Download all of it onto the page. What are the stories that go with the feeling/s? Where is the feeling lodged in the body? If that part of your body had a voice, what would it say? Write. Write it all. Write it out.
Empty yourself of the breathless stories living in your body. And then do it again. Do it as often as you need, in every situation you need it. This is journaling as preventative medicine, a tool for ensuring new stories don’t take up residence on the inside.
BUT – and here’s the big but for many, many people:
If we are to speak true to the page, which we must if we are to empower ourselves and claim the lives we were born to live, then the fact is we must write things we know in our rational mind to be unreasonable, or know will be incredibly hurtful to others if they find our writings, even though our intention is not to hurt but to heal, our own hearts and minds and bodies.
What if I die and they find my journal?
What if that’s all that’s left of me and a momentary flash of toxic anger defines my life?
It’s a common question in our journaling workshops.
What if . . . ?
Here’s what if – burn it.
Your writing downloads don’t have to have form on this Earth. You do, however, need to spill the living story from your flesh if you are to heal, rest, renew and live the life you most long to live. The writing doesn’t have to exist on paper. But it does have to leave your body.
Burn it. Shred it. But write it first.
Write.
Because no matter who we are or where we are, we have a right to a relationship with ourselves. We have a right to the expression of the moment, even if it’s just in the privacy of our own heart and mind.
Stephanie Dale is an award-winning journalist, author and founder of the International Wellbeing-through-writing Institute. In 2014 she launched The Write Road, a wellbeing-through-writing initiative for rural and remote Australians. She is passionate about pilgrimage, and in 2017 founded Walk&Write holiday writing adventures.